


The Trouble With Perverts

by seamusdeanforever_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 02:48:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4987150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seamusdeanforever_archivist/pseuds/seamusdeanforever_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>By Gila Draper.</p><p>Dean thinks about Seamus and his truly filthy mind. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Trouble With Perverts

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Cora: this story was originally archived at [Seamus/Dean Forever](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Seamus/Dean_Forever), which I opened in 2002, and which was closed in 2005 when the server that hosted it was closed. To re-open the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2015. An announcement was posted to OTW media channels, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Seamus/Dean Forever archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/seamusdeanforever/profile).
> 
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> ***
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> DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
> 
> Author's Note: Just a little spur of the moment fic I came up with. I really enjoyed writing it since it's the first fic I've written in a while.

All people are born innocent but Dean has his doubts about Seamus Finnegan. Seamus has a gutter mouth, a gutter mind, and possibly a gutter everything-in-between.

Not that Seamus cares.

He takes unholy glee in passing filthy notes in class and Dean can only thank whatever deity people are praying to these days that Snape hasn't intercepted any of them. He's tried to tell Seamus to stop passing him these truly god awful notes but Seamus' only response is that Dean needs to learn to live dangerously. Personally Dean thinks that living with Seamus is dangerous enough.

On top of this all conversations with Seamus are leaden with sexual innuendos. Dean probably wouldn't care about this so much if he wasn't prone to blushing. But it isn't his fault that conversations that started innocently enough about Quidditch rapidly evolve into something that involves "broom polishing" and Seamus' infamous eyebrow waggling.

So clearly it's not his fault at all.

And it wasn't his fault either that Seamus harassed him with a collecting tin in their Fifth Year for some club called Perverts Anonymous. Needless to say Dean didn't join and the only other person who became a member was Blaise Zabini who is fondly known as the Slut of the Slytherin Dungeons.

So it was only natural that Seamus asked Blaise out. And everyone in Hogwarts gave a collective sigh of relief and gave their blessing so that Seamus and Blaise could go off and be perverted elsewhere. And Dean probably should have been happy that Seamus had found someone who was undoubtedly as weird as he was but he couldn't.

For a while he told himself that it was because there was no balance to Seamus' relationship. Seamus and Blaise were exactly alike. Both flirtatious, gregarious, charismatic, and with thoughts that would make hardened prostitutes blush.

When that didn't work he tried to tell himself that perhaps it was because the two of them chose to have sex at really inopportune times. But that wasn't it either, because Harry and Draco often did the exact same thing and he just ignored them.

And when it finally hit Dean it was when Seamus had sauntered into the Common Room one evening alone. And he had sprawled himself in the armchair next to Dean's and stuck his feet out close to the grate to warm them.

"Your feet are going to catch fire," Dean had told him tartly.

Seamus had rolled his eyes but scooted his feet a little ways away from the fire. They sat in a companionable silence before Dean had turned to Seamus.

"Where's Blaise?"

Seamus had shrugged, "Probably making out with Susan Bones in the Potions classroom."

"Oh," Dean knew he probably should be feeling bad for Seamus but instead he felt a sort of elation that the Slytherin was gone. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm not pining." Seamus gave him a quiet little smile. "Blaise was fun and everything but he wasn't exactly someone I'd want to be with forever."

And Dean's heart had caught in his throat and he was suddenly, painfully aware of why he hadn't liked Seamus and Blaise's relationship. And he had licked his lips and cleared his throat and asked hoarsely, "And who would you want to be with forever?"

Seamus had looked at him again with that same quiet little smile and had risen from the armchair stretching, "I think I'll go on up to bed now."

And as he had come around the side of his armchair he had leaned over with supreme casualness and slipped a hand under Dean's chin, tilting his head up. And their kiss was brief and warm and possessive and Seamus had pulled away, saying huskily, "I think that answers your questions." And had calmly walked on up to the dormitory with Dean staring after him.

And now it's years later and they've been together for a long time. It's not quite forever but Dean's not complaining. And Seamus' mind and mouth still go on extended gutter excursions and he sends him filthy notes and laughs whenever Dean blushes at his sexual innuendos.

And Dean wouldn't have him any other way.


End file.
